Friendship -which we lost in transit
As many would agree friendship made during our childhood is meant to last life time as it was the most innocent, honest and special friendship that is cherished all our life especially when we keep kindling time and again. We grow older and move from being a neighbour to high school to university or even go for further studies and eventually take up jobs, join family business or start up our own business, but we are sure to stay in touch and try to meet whenever possible. Whenever we are low or happy we surely want to connect with our childhood friend or friends as we want them to be part of our joys or sorrows but then sometimes in our journey in life we do leave some of our friends behind and may keep that misunderstanding or hardship we had with them during our childhood or adult life and slowly drift apart or losing friendships entirely is a natural part of life and the less depressing news is that there are ways to feel at peace with it as time goes by.
In fact, time is one of the reasons that, as you age, you may find yourself investing in a few close friendships rather than many casual friendships — quality over quantity, if you will. “If you have a bunch of relationships that never feel ‘deep enough,’ and don’t do a careful job of nourishing those deeper relationships, you end up losing them. Your time becomes even more precious as your life progresses with busy schedules, work, relationships, and perhaps kids clamoring for your attention — so you want to ensure you’re directing what little time you do have towards things that will lead to the most satisfaction.
Despite knowing that friendships can and will change and end, that doesn’t make it any easier to deal with when those things happen. The flow of your friendship curve can create feelings of anxiety, fear, sadness, loneliness, and even depression. “This is particularly true for individuals who had intermittent or inconsistent friendships as younger children, these feelings can be exacerbated if one friend makes efforts to keep the relationship strong but feels that the other is letting it slip away.
This is the act of accepting that loss of friends is a normal human experience as you mature, and celebrating the development of new friendships with people who share your values and current interests.
So while you don’t have to force yourself to be happy about a friendship that ended or has become distant, you can find ways to cope and find peace. We all experience pain in life, but we can avoid suffering. It may be time to interact with the experience in a new, healthier way.”
There are three parts to a healthy relationship that make you feel bonded and trusted. The first is consistency with time spent together: “The more you put in hours, the more you feel like you have a future together, The second is positivity: You need to have fun together without fear of being judged and feel accepted through expressive affirmation. The third component is vulnerability or those moments when you feel like you can show your friend who you really are or what you’re thinking without fear of judgment or distance.
“Any friendship you’ve ever had is built on those three things, and any relationship that isn’t as deep as you want [it to be] means that one of those things is lacking,”
You might guess that the consistency aspect of friendships is the hardest to keep up, but many people actually struggle with positivity the most. Things such as giving unsolicited advice rather than simply listening and being there for someone, as well as being easily distracted by your phone, can get in the way of those positive vibes.
If you’re struggling with a friendship transition right now or feeling frustrated with the process of developing new friendships, have faith knowing that you’re not alone. When you look at waning friendships as either an opportunity to nurture that relationship back to health or to cultivate new connections that will be more meaningful, you can rise above the emotional toll.
Keep in touch or get in touch, Choice is yours.
D e yet another e p u